There’s no reason that I, a complete stranger, should matter a whole lot in regard to your daily life. My story, however, should matter a great deal.
Learning from others’ mistakes, discovering how they overcome downfalls and climb out of the dark pits of life, is how you eventually find success yourself. Success means different things to different people of course, but for me it means finding joy in every day, despite circumstances. Once you can attain that seemingly monumental feat, everything else, such as finances and relationships, are likely to follow suit. In no way am I suggesting that finding joy will make you a millionaire, but it will certainly help you identify what matters to you, understand your worth and capabilities, and help you to find fulfillment. Ask any motivational speaker, psychologist, or neuroscientist, and they will likely agree.
I do not claim to be a motivational speaker, and I’m even hesitant to call myself a “lifestyle coach”, because in all honesty, I can be sarcastic, I’ve had seasons of pessimism, and I can be a downright pain in the butt (just ask my husband). What I do claim to be is someone who has overcome more than her fair share of hardships, has fought hard to avoid becoming a victim of my circumstances, and who cares deeply about helping other people who are in pain or simply dissatisfied with life, do the same.
I’m a working mother of 3 girls who has found joy and hope despite everything, I’m honest, and I want to provide a resource to you.
Downward Spiral
Much like the rest of the world, the year 2019 set off a series of events that would reshape my life, and I was not prepared.
My family poured everything we had into an idea-a business that would bring people together from all walks of life. It was a board game cafe and restaurant called Friend and Foe. We started planning for this business when I was pregnant with our first child, Sloane, and we opened the doors to our brick and mortar when I was pregnant with our second child, Eloise. I had her three weeks after our grand opening, and she spent the first year of her life being pushed around that joyous place in her walker by her big sister.
We lost the business after a year of fighting through the pandemic. During that year, I had been given a surprise, a baby boy, who I lost at 20 weeks pregnant, shortly after the business closure.
A few months later, we were displaced from our home for almost a year due to a flood. We hopped around from place to place with two toddlers, a mama with a broken heart, and not much left to give. Survival mode took it’s toll.
When we finally got our home back, we decided to sell it and move to Colorado for a fresh start. Grasping at straws, our attempt to take a risk and build a better life seemed to fail again, however, I’ll always be grateful for this. I lost my job after I was put on bed rest with baby #3, and my husband was working multiple jobs to make ends meet.
But…we did not take Colorado’s beauty for granted.
With not many other options, and about to lose our house to the bank, we decided to fix it up with spare materials my husband brought home from work in preparation to rent it out. Shortly after I had baby girl #3, Josephine, we rented out our own home on AirBnB. Once again, we found ourselves moving around from place to place, staying with family and friends until we could make the next, permanent move.
“When you do the things you ought to do when you ought to do them, the day will come when you can do the things you want to do, when you want to do them.”
Zig Zigler
The Turning Point
We let go of all the work we put into Colorado, found jobs in San Antonio, TX near family, and decided to make some changes.
It was difficult to let go of the business we spent years dreaming about and starting as a family. It was just as difficult to let go of the Colorado home we had put so much work into. It felt like we were giving up in a sense, but really, we were just learning how to adapt to hardship. We have become better at this.
This wasn’t failure, this was a temporary retreat.
Sometimes circumstances can be so complex and painful, it’s not worth using words to describe and relive them. There’s a time and a place, and one day the time will be right to elaborate. For now, I’ll simply say, we were determined to find stability-a sense of normalcy. We found jobs in San Antonio, loaded up our 3 small kids, 2 dogs, and 2 cats, and made multiple trips to Texas with our stuff. Honestly, I wish we had less stuff (obviously we want the kids).
Restored Hope
In 2024, something happened. Those big dreams that I’d had since I was little-they returned. The strong desire to help people and create something beautiful got back into the driver’s seat.
I know it was a combination of several things, but I can pinpoint down to the day, after many years of heartache and distress, when a switch flipped.
I had been doing well at my new job, but I had also been away from my family a lot. The vicious cycle began, one I’m all too familiar with, involving wanting to do well at work to continue to dig our way out of a hole, wanting to be there for our kids, wishing I had more time for different things, and then beating myself up for not aligning everything in a way that was in sync with my heart, mind, and beliefs. No matter where you are in life, I believe this is more common than not.
One day, I started playing a game called Treasure Games. Essentially it’s a platform with various games which encourage you to get outside and explore to win treasure. As I was trying to solve this riddle, it gave me a sense of hope that maybe I could win…maybe I still had a hand in my circumstances. I believe in God and I believe that He is sovereign, and with this I believe it’s important to be active in my faith, not just sit by and fall “victim” to my circumstances, which can be an ongoing battle.
The ultimate hope is that everyone will rise to who they were created to be in spite of, and because of, their circumstances. I believe hope in Jesus Christ allows one to do this.
Regardless of your beliefs, and I promise you that I respect each and every one of them, I think it’s important that I share these things honestly. My higher power, God and the Holy Spirit, intervened in my life at that moment. Over the next few days, a series of events took place which restored my hope in all things, including the hope and desire I have always had to help people who are in pain.
This is the moment that Daily Do-er was born.
